@AudiKhalid

Audi Khalid

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Genuine question here. Feel free not to disclose it if you feel uncomfortable. Did you leave Islam because you felt persecuted by it for being gay or were there other reasons for it?

Unfortunately this would be too personal for me to answer without being attacked by certain individuals. Some cannot fathom the idea that a Malay does not necessarily have to be Muslim, and they have issues with that. I do not need that for now.
Religion is a personal matter for me. I've contemplated for years. Being gay was the least of the reasons I left.

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I assume your last relationship was a bit messy with off/on periods... is that why you say it was 2-3 years depending on how you counted it? Or is it because it grew out of a friendship but no one wanted to label it for a year... In situations like that it is always hard to identify a concrete date.

We started off strong about November of 2011. We met by chance in the club. I could have just left him there just like every other guy I flirt and dump with but after I left, I ran back to the club to find him once more just to get his name. Next thing you know people said we looked like a married couple... including the endless fighting.
I didn't trust to put a label on us then. We are what we are. But then I realized now the problem is that when we don't tell us we're dating or 'together', it gets quite messy trying to lay down the rules and boundaries. It becomes something you have to build from the ground up. A long, tiring process. If we had a 'dating' status, I think it would have given us a clearer picture and psychologically remind us of our commitment.
It started getting shaky after a while. A lot of push and pull, and periods we called it off only to get back together again under the charm of intoxication.
Meeting in a club felt like we were carrying a curse and our relationship was driven by the bottle.
I once had to 'force' a relationship and made it Facebook official on my birthday. What I thought was sweet incurred backlash instead.
At the end of the day we did love each other beneath all that. Only in our private moments do we both let our guard down. I miss those moments sometimes.

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Do you think sexual purity and virginity is overrated?

I think people tend to put too much weight on 'sexual purity'.
I know of people who are so obsessed with this concept, so afraid to be 'unclean', that they place sex on a pedestal and revere it. They look at people who have casual sex with scorn, seeing them as lesser people. Then they go on to be serial-daters who are quick to get into relationships largely because they feel less guilt getting fucked by some guy they just met because, hey, they're 'attached' so it's 'not wrong'. It's rubbish.
Sometimes, sex is just an itch. It is illogical to bring in matters of the heart, slinging people through needless drama just to satisfy what is essentially an itch.
Sex shouldn't be viewed as immoral or shameful, which is essentially what the concept of 'purity' and 'virginity' is based upon.

I often feel really disconnected from the world with few people readily able to understand my psyche. I have followed you on Twitter and other social media over the years because some tidbits of your online persona resonate with my own worldview. Do you feel this isolation and ailientation sometimes

I used to. Then again I realize now that many people do. It can feel like we're alone, we're different, but truth is we're not. I've come to be proud at being 'different', as much as I also know that I'm only different because of the environment I'm surrounded with at this point of time. I never felt like I fit in Singapore society. But that doesn't mean I feel alone. There's a bit of us in every person we meet. When I look at it that way, it's not so bad.

Do you believe you get to choose who you love or is it something that just happens that you cannot control?

I believe infatuation isn't a choice. It's a feeling. Feelings are temperamental, shaky. But I do believe staying in love is a choice. It is deliberate. When you know someone more, the chances of disliking them are even greater. But when you choose to love someone, you accept them as they are. That's what I believe. You chose to stay with them, work with the cards you're dealt with. Romance comes and go. Commitment is a choice.

How do you think your family would interact if you had a Christmas tree in your apartment?

I don't think I'd even agree with that. While my views of spirituality may conflict with theirs, there's no need to antagonize them unnecessarily at home.

For your own relationships do you think an 'open relationship' would work or do you need monogamy?

Monogamy. Don't get me wrong, I'm morally okay with open relationships, and it works for some people. Good for them.
I just don't want an open relationship for mine.
Liked by: huatyhuat

Neil Road is full of bars right. If go alone wouldnt it be awkz

I go to the bars alone. Never bothered me. You'll eventually find friends after a while.

you look different! saw you in Play earlier this year then I recently saw you again. Maybe its the hair.

Yeah maybe it is.

Do you converse more in English or Malay?

I speak only in English.
I understand Malay, I can read it, but I simply do not know how to speak it.

The problem with the gay community is that 'looks' is an important factor in finding a partner. Certainly those who are blessed with good looks will do well in this circle, but those who aren't are left aside and never heard of again. Agree?

I highly disagree.

How many ex boyfriend do you have :)

Two. One when I was 17 which lasted 3 months. The other started in 2011 and lasted about 2-3 years.

why do you look older than you are during the start of this year. look at photos.

Age. Lifestyle. I notice that too.

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