I think I'm gay, do you think I should come out?
Do you think you're ready to do that?
Ask @AudiKhalid
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I don't dance, can I still go to a club? What's the difference between a gay club and a straight club. Besides the audience.
You don't really 'dance' in a club. Everyone just kinds of bobs up and down putting their hands up. I just watched some videos taken in a club without the music and it looked like a bloody bore with people just standing around gently tapping their feet. Don't be afraid and just ride the beats.
Gay clubs tend to be more clique-ish, but has less physical fights and generally I feel it's much safer. Straight clubs tend to have a more blunt, manly-bro kind of energy to it, more vomit, more fights and too many girls. (haha!)
Either way, both can be really fun. They're just different. I just prefer gay clubs cause it's a familiar place with familiar faces.
Gay clubs tend to be more clique-ish, but has less physical fights and generally I feel it's much safer. Straight clubs tend to have a more blunt, manly-bro kind of energy to it, more vomit, more fights and too many girls. (haha!)
Either way, both can be really fun. They're just different. I just prefer gay clubs cause it's a familiar place with familiar faces.
Do you have more straight guy friends or gay guy friends?
Gay guys.
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Do you intend to settle down in say 5 years?
No.
What's your dream kind of job? You have the fireman look and feel. -anon abc
Is it because I'm an abang. HAHAHAAHA. Wtf.
http://www.publishyourarticles.net/knowledge-hub/philosophy/buddhist-doctrine-of-momentariness-or-the-doctrine-of-impermanence.html as a momentariness primer
Oh, that. I guess if you meant in a 'this too shall pass' or 'nothing is forever', 'at the end of the day none of this will matter' kind of way, sure.
But when it gets to that "If the self is momentary, knowledge is impossible." part then I really haven't given this aspect much taught. Yikes.
But hey thanks for the link. That's gonna be quite a read.
But when it gets to that "If the self is momentary, knowledge is impossible." part then I really haven't given this aspect much taught. Yikes.
But hey thanks for the link. That's gonna be quite a read.
I like the professionalism you have in you. Great!
Thank you. I'm not the sort of photographer that would use photo shoots as a ploy to get cock. I think that's self-disrespecting.
Would the nudes you did invovle full frontal or are they more budoir in nature?
What is a 'bodoh'?
I don't know the proper terms, really. Most of them want their junk to be seen. A lot of it is very simple; backdrop, lights, full portrait, some close ups. I prefer keeping it super simple and traditional. Most of them want it just for keepsake.
I don't know the proper terms, really. Most of them want their junk to be seen. A lot of it is very simple; backdrop, lights, full portrait, some close ups. I prefer keeping it super simple and traditional. Most of them want it just for keepsake.
they'd always have this weird expression and denies. But going back to my uncle, he don't seemed to be thinking of this child (the older brother), never ever heard about this older brother ever since. It seemed like they're hiding something, something which im not sure if i'd wanna know about.
Man... I don't know what to reply.
Because i have this vague memory of an older brother, not sure if its my own or my uncle's. But he seemed to be around when i was younger, tho he was always on my pram because he had some illness. I don't know if my parents are hiding anything from me, because whenever i asked if im the only child,
.
Is it weird that my mom addresses me as didi (chinese form of younger brother) instead of son or by my name like how many other single child are being called by. I have this feeling that either my mom had a miscarriage or what..
.
Meaning you never ever get hard when snapping nude shots?
No. People don't believe that but.. when you're working, a cock isn't sexual anymore.
Momentariness is a central Bhuddist concept... so are you cherry picking/religous shopping?
I have honestly never heard of that concept. Are we talking about the state of impermanence?
What if you ever do nude shots, are you professional enough not to be distracted?
I've done a few already. I keep it professional. I will not soil my work with my carnal desires.
Alex Coville was a famous Canadian painter that moved to a small rural area to be away from other artists. Do you not admire other photographers or film directors in fear that doing so will not let your own voice as an artist evolve?
You're actually spot on with that. I find there's a tendency to get lost in the technicalities when you start adoring other artists. What camera did he use, what lens, how did he do this and that. There's nothing wrong with being inspired by other artists, but I think there's that trap that we copy so much and forget to develop our own voice and style in our craft and message.
What does 'momentariness' mean to you personally?
I don't know what that is.
Just as you havw professional mentors do you have spiritual mentors?
Two of them were both. One opened the door for me, and taught me about karma and letting anger go. The other taught me about kindness and graciousness. One was Buddhist, the other was agnostic or atheist. They however had similar concepts.
So is it something like a lucid dream tho?
I don't know what it is.
Do you have trouble sustaining focus in one direction? Do you find commitment difficult or restricting?
Yes, actually. I can love a person with all my very being. But when it comes to sealing the deal, I chicken out. Even if I actually do love the person.
I just tell people I'm not ready for a relationship. I really am not.
I just tell people I'm not ready for a relationship. I really am not.
Can you tell us more about the reoccurring dream that bugs you ?
Not so much as recurring, but a peculiar dream that's stuck in my head.
There was one night, between the ages of 7-9, I woke up on my own and drowsily made my way to the toilet. It was a normal morning. My room was dark and cold, the toilet was freezing, the pipes made the same noise. After the bath, I came out to my bed only to find that there was someone else inside it. And that person, I felt, but didn't see, was me.
That was the moment I woke up. And that was when I felt it getting strange. There was this brooding, ambivalent aura around me, much as if it was hanging heavily in the air. Everything I did next was exactly the same as it played out before. It felt exactly like I was still dreaming.
Well I never woke up (again) after that, but that looming sense, like I was still floating in a dream lingered on. That night still bugs me sometimes. What if I was still in a dream, and all that I've been living hasn't been set in reality? What if I was dreaming of the future, and one day I will wake up back to my 7-9 year old self with clear ideas about the future? What if that night was the point I shifted to a parallel universe, and I'm in fact actually in a coma right now for the past 20 years? Or what if I had been dead for over 20 years in the previous universe? For all you know, I could be in hospital bed right now for the past 20 years, unconscious. the life I've come to know and lived, nothing but something my brain made up?
That night was what got me interested in the idea of reality and dreams. It led to read books about possible dimensions, parallel universes and whatnot. Life, death. At the end of the day, what is real?
There was one night, between the ages of 7-9, I woke up on my own and drowsily made my way to the toilet. It was a normal morning. My room was dark and cold, the toilet was freezing, the pipes made the same noise. After the bath, I came out to my bed only to find that there was someone else inside it. And that person, I felt, but didn't see, was me.
That was the moment I woke up. And that was when I felt it getting strange. There was this brooding, ambivalent aura around me, much as if it was hanging heavily in the air. Everything I did next was exactly the same as it played out before. It felt exactly like I was still dreaming.
Well I never woke up (again) after that, but that looming sense, like I was still floating in a dream lingered on. That night still bugs me sometimes. What if I was still in a dream, and all that I've been living hasn't been set in reality? What if I was dreaming of the future, and one day I will wake up back to my 7-9 year old self with clear ideas about the future? What if that night was the point I shifted to a parallel universe, and I'm in fact actually in a coma right now for the past 20 years? Or what if I had been dead for over 20 years in the previous universe? For all you know, I could be in hospital bed right now for the past 20 years, unconscious. the life I've come to know and lived, nothing but something my brain made up?
That night was what got me interested in the idea of reality and dreams. It led to read books about possible dimensions, parallel universes and whatnot. Life, death. At the end of the day, what is real?
Do you like answering your ask.fm questions because you are getting interviewed?
I actually enjoy the ones that speak about social trends. And I enjoy it more when questions come in with their own little tidbit of opinion or extra info. It's nice.
Once upon a time you wanted to the people asking the questions to remain anonymous, now you kinda wonder who is asking the questions. Do you want the anonymous people to reveal themselves? Or do you think you just want to have a deeper conversation with these folks?
It was a passing remark. I think we both can have deeper conversations when it's anonymous.
Let's not spoil the magic.
Let's not spoil the magic.
Do you think receiving those mesaages to you when you were young that you 'were not good enough' and feelings of not belonging made you more susceptable to falling into the gay scene and socializing and all the related rights of passage?
Quite possibly. I never felt like I fit in anywhere, not even in the general Singapore population.
When I first came out of the closet and found the gay community, I found people who were like me not in the sense that we were both homosexuals, but I was meeting people from similar backgrounds. I was meeting with people I was used to hanging around with a long time ago.
I came in not knowing anything about the gay scene, so of course I would be following the people I come across with, learn and observe what they do such as grooming and dating and all the other gay stuff.
Coming out was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I've met so many wonderful people, different people, had all the highs and lows of my life in it, I've met the people I was told I was not to meet. And I was glad I met them.
I was guided along by the kind people I've met along the way. Many of us have grown up together even if it was a short time in retrospect.
I think the biggest thing I've realized was how similar we all are. I don't mean just homosexuals. I meant all of us in general. I've heard and questioned the stories of so many gay men. Many similar traits keep popping up. These worries that bog them, I sometimes wish they knew they weren't the first to encounter it, and won't be the last.
When I first came out of the closet and found the gay community, I found people who were like me not in the sense that we were both homosexuals, but I was meeting people from similar backgrounds. I was meeting with people I was used to hanging around with a long time ago.
I came in not knowing anything about the gay scene, so of course I would be following the people I come across with, learn and observe what they do such as grooming and dating and all the other gay stuff.
Coming out was one of the best things I've ever done for myself. I've met so many wonderful people, different people, had all the highs and lows of my life in it, I've met the people I was told I was not to meet. And I was glad I met them.
I was guided along by the kind people I've met along the way. Many of us have grown up together even if it was a short time in retrospect.
I think the biggest thing I've realized was how similar we all are. I don't mean just homosexuals. I meant all of us in general. I've heard and questioned the stories of so many gay men. Many similar traits keep popping up. These worries that bog them, I sometimes wish they knew they weren't the first to encounter it, and won't be the last.
You seem to believe that comfort breeds contempt. Is it safe to assume that you seek discomfort so that you can be content?
I always believe when you find yourself in too comfortable a place... you're doing something wrong.
Do you worry that your vices for cigarettes, alcohol and cock might limit your spiritual development?
Yes. But I also believe in moderation. Much like I shouldn't excessive in these vices, I should't be obsessed with achieving ultimate spirituality.
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