Audi Khalid

Absolutely. Because there is no meaning nor value to that term. 'High-profile' is a fantasy status created by the community themselves. They think of it like an elite club, that there are unspeakable benefits to being one.

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There isn't. It's nothing. One insecure idiot can slap on the term onto someone who just happens to have 20 more friends and everybody starts believing in it. Have you any idea what kind of nonsense some of my quieter friends have to face just because they happen to have 'fans'? Certain bitter individuals sometimes simply cannot stand to see another person getting attention.

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The ones I would say are legitimately influential do not even appear on the ground and most people would have never even heard of them. They're way above all this petty drama in that one stretch of the road.

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The concept of 'high profile' is representative of the huge insecurity issues rife within the gay community. There's a disproportionate amount of attention given by gay men to be prominent or influential in the gay scene. I wager that this is partly because of the need for validation for various reasons. The irony being, of course, is that people tend to publicly denounce 'high profile' people but they sure as hell won't mind if they were called 'high profile'. It is a disgusting hypocrisy. This behavior is apparent even in other aspects of Singapore culture where just because someone is rich or prominent, they think it gives them the freedom to throw rocks at them.

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The term these days is so loosely defined, that just because you have a slightly bigger group of friends, it means you're popular. It's not. It is ridiculously easy to be 'high profile'. When you appear at one spot twice a week without fail all the time soon enough people are going to know you. It seems sometimes that it's just a matter of time people will slap on the term onto you, and you get that sort of flak that comes along with it.

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I really detest this concept of high-profile and low-profile. It brings young men to chase that fame and attention. Some of them sell their bodies online in the manner of soft-porn selfies. Others beg to be accepted into the current hot clique of the season and don't mind being pushed around just as long as somehow he's associated with 'the hot boys'. He opens his legs up for them, buy drinks for them, fluff their balls and when the boys he's with isn't in season anymore, he drops them and moves on.

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It isn't just about sexualizing themselves though. Some would even put on the facade of 'fighting for gay rights' and join the mob in raising flags and shouting about online in the hopes to be the voice of the community. I've seen it happen. They'll come together and congregate in the park, singing songs hand in hand about the freedom to love, only to return to the status quo after and are back at each other's throats trying to pull the rug under the other. The need for self-validation in the gay community is obsessive and unhealthy.

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And you know what, some people who are famous or popular in the scene didn't even choose to be there. It is less of a title you make for yourself, and more of what people place on to you. Maybe you're a genuinely funny person online. Maybe you're just so damn handsome and people like that. Maybe it's just the nature of your professional job (clubs, pubs) that people just get to know you. They didn't choose it; they were given that spot.

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Being popular should not be seen as a sin. Being popular does not automatically make someone 'bad'. Similarly popular people should understand that their influence has the potential to do much good, rather that use it for their own selfish benefits.

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Not exactly. It was a different time and environment. I was enjoying my time being new and fresh. It was what it was.

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I guess as I grew older I simply just didn't need to sleep around. Life just takes its own way, you feel like you don't have to do it. I got attached, too. That gave me some perspective (and sex on-demand haha!)

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Funny enough when I turned single again I didn't rush back to town with my dicksword slashing people up. I just... simply didn't look for it.

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Recently, too, a few acquaintances have contracted STDs, some HIV, and these were no more than two degrees of seperation. I realized then that if I weren't careful enough I could get in trouble.

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I also realized that certain groups were getting interested in me for some reason and not in a good way. There was also that possibility to be blackmailed if I were to sleep with the wrong person. I decided I could do away with frequent hook ups. I didn't need the excess drama.

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Not denying I still have my fun every once in a while.

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I think you're coming from a prejudiced point of view. Some people put so much weight on the name 'friends'. You're expecting eternal loyalty, trust, and all that.

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I don't expect anything from people I call 'friends'. They come as they are, and I don't like to impose rules on what our friendship is. I know each of them as individuals and they all have unique bonds. I work according to how friendship progresses and transforms naturally.

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There are people I trust my secrets with, but each other them carry different kinds of secrets, or rather, information. One friend, I can trust with say a certain kind of information, the other I cannot, but I can trust that other guy if I want to muse about something. I have close friends that are out of the gay community, and that's great whenever I want to get an opinion that isn't influenced by gay culture. I guess you could say many people have a little bit of my personal thoughts, but they're in bits and pieces spread around.

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Obviously, I believe secrets stop becoming secrets the moment it transfers out of you, so the ones I really keep don't get out of my thoughts. You can say that means I don't trust my friends, but I think that's inaccurate. Some secrets simply shouldn't be said to another person.

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