Audi Khalid

This sort of question easily brings in the type of "Go for it! Don't be afraid!" sort of gungho answer.

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Well I'm telling you, think twice.

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Coming out, depending to who, is a huge step you're taking. Family is the biggest risk. I really can't advice you cause I do not know you personally, but the risk of coming out to the family is ultimately abandonment. This means you're out of the house, your funding is cut off and education is hanging in mid-air if you're still a student. This still happens in Singapore, but at the same time I'm also seeing more parents accepting their child coming out to them. This is entirely dependent on your family background. Only you would know best.

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Coming out to friends is probably much easier. Well, it was easy for me. When I came out of the closet to my friends, they sorta just went "Oh, we already knew that before you did."

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I didn't act differently after I came out, I treated them all the same. I think what people are afraid of is that when you're out, you morph into this glittering pink fairy throwing magical dust at their faces. But I guess if you assure them that you've always been that way, and nothing will change it might be easier. Again, this really depends. Maybe you already feel constricted and want to be a fairy by coming out then I really don't have any advice to say.

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In any case, list out your fears of coming out and evaluate what your feelings are. Reflect on what you've written, then ask yourself if you're ready to take that step of coming out. You can do it incrementally, of course. Only you would know when you're ready to come out and to whom.

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I'm sorry I cannot give a better advice than this.

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Of course I do. The people I seek help or look for guidance from range from the 'uneducated' to top graduates in Ivy League schools. I have a good mix across the whole board.

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You know what's the one thing I've learned over the years? Everyone is worth their salt. Everyone has their own story to tell. To block out one person because of his education level is blocking out a whole life's worth of experience that you can pick up and learn from.

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One of my mentor didn't finish his education, and has gone on to create a famous film service company whose reach stretches out to all of South East Asia. On his own two feet! He may not have the academics, but he taught me a lot about living with people, and how to get by with others. Patience, control, discipline, a very typical kungfu master. I witnessed how he taught himself to craft things just by watching other people do it. The shelves in his office, he built with his own two hands. The furniture he's seated on, acquired cheaply by simple barter trading. I think that's remarkable.

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Another of my mentor is in a top position in one of the world's most famous construction companies. He has all the qualifications, he is beyond rich, but I'll be damned if I haven't seen someone so humble. He dresses up simply, lives simply, and still loves a good fart joke. Here is a man seated in a position of power, and what was his beginning? Scraping mud off the toilet floor as a kid. He was born in a poor family. He tells me, "Audi, I have enough to keep me going without work till I die. But I still go to work. You know why? Because there's always something new to see, always someone new to meet, something new to learn."

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These two people taught me two things; formal education is not the end all, be all. It is but a small part of your life. Education is life-long. If you can't afford to learn, or if school really isn't for you, then find your own way to educate yourself. It does seem limiting in Singapore context, that that method isn't feasible. It is. You just have to expand your view of the world. You just need to have an ambition.

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A person who drops out of school now doesn't mean he won't be someone socially respectable 20 years later. It would be foolish to think otherwise. You may not have a degree now, but who's stopping you from getting one at the age of 45? Remember - every man is worth his salt.

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I don't look down on people who fail school. I look down on those who never bothered trying.

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I'll be honest; I have never felt like I was being discriminated against because of my race. Yes, my friends may point out the fact that I'm Malay, but I'm not being treated any lesser. It was never difficult for me. I've easily had many dates and flings with Chinese men, in fact, only Chinese men really, and some of my friends whom I know don't really like Malays treat me warmly regardless.

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It's only after the recent Secret fiasco did I realize that some people just cannot fathom a Malay guy surrounded by Chinese friends. I've received a lot of flak from other Malays, throughout my life really, for being 'different', for always hanging out with 'the others'. That I don't sound like them, I don't act like them, I don't have the same ambitions or interests as they do. In fact, my biggest critics are other Malays, not the Chinese. It's funny how that is. There's a whole Malay inferiority complex rife in the Malay community that I simply do not understand.

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I think people aren't exactly racists in a sense that they look at your skin color. It is behavior. When you don't resonate at similar frequencies with other people, regardless of race, you're less likely to be able to mix with them. It's natural. Maybe it's my upbringing or whatever, but I never had a problem mixing around.

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I'm really having a good time with all these people. I've learned so much.

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By the looks of it, no. I'm planning to stay here at most two years, anyway. After seven years freelancing on film sets, this is a huge relief for me where I am financially stable and mentally at rest. It's great.

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Not saying the current place now is bad. The money is good, the company is good, and I'm given a variety of jobs each day that keeps me on my toes and works me enough to problem-solve every now and then. I'm in a very good workflow right now, and everything is in rhythm.

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But the curse of a small company is that to head up, someone above you either has to go up, or get out. It's harder when it's smaller (that's what she said). I know I can't be a photographer here, but you know, if they ever did offer me a slot, with great pay, I might. But even then, at most five years in total. My ambition isn't to be stuck in a studio.

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I can't drive. Well, legally. I took my TP test three times in 2007 but failed all of them. One was for driving too quickly. The last two was because I was too slow. The last one was funny. I had a stomach ache in the middle of the test, so I asked the guy if I could take a shit at the kopitiam. He said no, and ushered me to drive back quickly to BBDC. I got back, took a shit, and when I came out he said I failed because on the way back I didn't look at my blind spots and whatnot.

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My parking and all that is flawless. I just get a bit jittery when the car is at 60km/h. Haha!

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I did try taking my license again this year, but I calculated the cost and it was way too much. My first lesson was uneventful. The instructor didn't even have to say anything much. I did know how to work a car.

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I used to occasionally drive film production vans within closed areas when everyone else was busy, to move the van, place it out of the shot. But one time I was maneuvering up on the slopes of Fort Canning Hill, and I grazed the side of the van against a stone pillar. Scratched the hell out of the side. That's when I stopped driving around production vans.

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Wow thanks for the compliment. You're too kind.

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A safe bet would be the Canon 700D. If you can, get the one with the 18-135 kit lens. That's the one I use most of the time especially when I'm taking photos in the club. Or generally, really. I like that lens.

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Before you buy, do a bit of research first. I chose Canon cause I'm simply familiar with them, and my gear is suited for Canon cameras. You can't use a Canon lens on a Nikon, and vice versa, without a lens adapter. Look online and see same-level comparisons between the Canon 700D and other brands. Look at also the images and see what you prefer in your shots. Nikon tends to have cooler, crispier images whereas Canon leans towards warmer tones and an almost negligibly softer image (which can be sharpened in post, anyway). Canon controls are laid out simpler, Nikon can be a bit overwhelming but it's quicker to access if you know your way around it. Nikon controls scare me, takes me too much out of creating the image so I don't go for that.

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Don't buy your stuff from Sim Lim. Never ever. Head to Funan. The shop I go to is called John 3:16 or something. It's on the second floor, just in front of the escalator. I might be wrong. Been a while. Main point is, stick to reputable places so that you gear is insured in one way or the other.

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Learn how to use your camera and your lens first. Don't think about buying anything else. Work with one lens. Know everything about your camera and lens. Only then do you start adding lights.

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Ah, lights. That's where the fun begins. But before that you need to understand light. And natural light can be a bitch to understand. But I'll cover that next time.

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I had a sudden onset of acute asthma after climbing Mount Kinabalu when I was 15. I never had any issues until then.

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It was hell. I've never felt that way before, and I waited very long before calling for help. I usually treat my own illnesses. This one, no matter how I positioned myself or tried different breathing methods never worked. I was gasping for air no matter what. Every movement required a lot of effort. I had a lot of those 'life flashing before your eyes' moments.

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I started smoking three years later and it never came back to bother me until I started quitting. It stopped when I started smoking again. I wonder why that is.

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It's all under control now. I'm more afraid of fevers, because I'm the sort that rarely ever gets sick, but when I do, it's hell on earth; bedridden, hallucinations, immense pain across my whole body. But I always self-treat.

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One time I had a fever on a shoot when I was a stuntman. This was in KL. I didn't have the luxury of just resting it out. My mentor looked at me one time, and told me to run across the set at full sprint. I did. I came back sweating. Then he said "If you can run like that, you're already okay."

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So these days when I'm having a fever I force myself to sweat. I'm actually still having a fever now, but I came to work anyway because I needed the physical activity. No problems on shoot today except a slightly weakened physical strength.

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